I suppose I should have put this up sooner.
I’m doing a recital this Sunday at 1:00 in the SBH at St. John’s. It is a half recital with Steph Kueber. I’ll be singing some Vaughn-Williams, Corenelius and some Webern, so it should be pretty fun. I hope that you can attend, I’d love to see you there.
Last year I spent my 24th birthday drinking too much Premium and frosting cupcakes in Maur 108. This year my…umm.. shall we say 2nd 24th birthday will be spent in the Cities. Michael and I are meeting at our halfway point on the 22nd and staying until the 25th. If anyone would like to help me ignore the fact that I have actually reached my mid 20’s, do call. Michael and I would love to see any of you who will be around next weekend.
So remember on New Year’s Eve when I told you all about one of my favorite students, Elvis, who is obsessed with Halloween/horror related things. He is in my special ed art class and it doesn’t matter how innocent my art project is…it always turns EVIL. This is his Christmas story that he wrote and recited to me from memory during art one day. I asked for a copy of it and I finally got it in my mailbox today. Awesome.
T’was the fright night before Christmas.
And all through the house,
not a creature was eaten except for a mouse.
The stockings were all hung by the chimney with care,
then opened that morning became a Christmas nightmare.
The children were all snug in their beds,
got a lot of eyeballs and half eaten heads.
And what to my wondering eyes should appear
but a human flesh sleigh and demonic reindeer.
And a dinosaur Santa so evil, demonic and sick.
I know it; it cannot be St. Nick.
From house to house with a sense of joy.
Now the dinosaur Santa ate every girl and boy.
He roared way out of sight.
Merry Christmas to all and we will MMMMM have a bite.
The awful-horror-movie-only-found-on-LaserDisc remake phenomenon continues with My Bloody Valentine: 3D. Check out the repellent and utterly hilarious trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1610154777/
While I was searching one early morning for a game to play with a friend in Seoul, Korea I found a digital version of Epop for Facebook. It toted a wikipedia definition, so I checked that out. It seems they have yet to add Epop to the list of synonyms, but there are websites devoted to our favorite pastime. I noticed specifically that there were some warnings about illustrations containing sex and violence. No warning though about blasphemy and religious symbols; maybe that’s a consequence of a higher education at a private institution.
I wish I had the time to find out which one provides the best set-up to play without actually testing them all out, but I don’t. I should have already gone to bed. I figure the ones not on Facebook would be best, since that’s more inclusive to our friends who don’t have it. If you feel like checking out the links at the bottom of the wikipedia article and rating them, that would be great. Then we can set up a huge game with friends abroad and between gatherings… just a thought!
so this is the third grade test probe for next week. i read it and laughed out loud because, let’s be honest, if nick and mike had met in elementary school this is exactly how it would have happened.
Mike was the new kid in fourth grade. He moved from Maine and didn’t know any of his classmates. No one spoke to him or knew his name. Mike came home the first day of school in tears.
“Don’t cry,” Mike’s mother told him. “Just show those boys and girls that you’re a nice and interesting person. Why don’t you bring your marble collection to class tomorrow?”
“Maybe the teacher won’t let me have marbles,” Mike sighed to his mother. “Besides, the kids will probably think marbles are stupid. I’m positive I won’t have any friends this year.”
The next day, Mike brought his marbles to school. He carried them in a leather pouch tied to his hip. As Mike walked, the marbles made a cool clicking sound that made him feel very happy. At recess, a student who had never spoken to Mike before tapped him on the shoulder.
“Hey, man,” he said. “My name’s Nick. What’s inside that bag you’ve got tied to your hip?”
“My marbles,” Mike answered happily. “Would you like to play a game, Nick?”
“I don’t know how to play marbles,” Nick told Mike. “I think my grandpa used to play marbles when he was a little boy though. Who taught you how to play?”
“My grandma,” Mike said with a smile. “She was a marble champion in grade school.”
“If she taught you, you must be really good,” said Nick.
“I’m okay,” Mike said. “I still need a lot of practice, though. If you like, I can teach you, and then we can practice together.”
“That sounds fun,” said Nick. “Can I ask some of my friends to join us?”
“Sure,” said Mike. “I have lots of marbles.”
just picture ten-year-old mike with a bag of marbles strapped to his hip. and ten-year-old nick being impressed by that.
Jill, you inspired me. Here are some random things I’ve picked up since I got here.
On a worksheet using “I like…” sentences
“I like dogs”
“I like sushi and sashimi”
”You are nothing, adoration man”
A girl in my Junior High, in broken, giggling English
“Are you trying to pick me up?”
A question in the middle of class at an elementary school
Girl: “Do you have a girlfriend?”
Me (lying for no reason): “Uhh…yes.”
Girl: Bursts into tears
Bombardment of questions after “I like…” lesson in third grade
Student 1: “Do you like ass?”
Me: “What?”
Student 1: “Do you like ass?”
Student 2: “Yes, Mr. Reese. Do you like ass?”
Me: “Sorry, I don’t understand.”
Teacher: “Do you like ass, Mr. Reese? Do you like ass?”
Me (beginning to hyperventilate): “Uhh…”
Teacher: “Like, the world. Ass. Do you like ass?”
Me: “Oh, Earth, you mean Earth. Yes, I do like the Earth.”
The old ladies in my English conversation class
Woman 1: “My husband, he is teacher. He works at special school.”
Other women: Agreeing noises
Woman 1: “He works at school for the dumb.”
Me: “The dumb…”
Woman 1: “Yes. The dumb and the retards.”
Other women: Agreeing noises.
Woman 1: “The dumb and the blind and the retards.”
Me: “Oh, okay.”
Almost every elementary school child every day that I am here, translated from Japanese
“You have boobs.”
Me: “Elvis, what kind of food are you making for your plate?”
Elvis: “It’s a mummy wrap with a mummy’s hand, grubs, and fingernail clippings.”
Ann: “Ms. Derouin!!! Did you know that there are invisible sharks swimming under that table over there?”
Me: “How did they get out here? I thought I left them in the back room.”
Darcy: “Are you sure you aren’t on Zoe 101?
Me: “What?”
Darcy: “You look like the girl who steals a lot on Zoe 101.”
Me: “Nope…I am sure.”
Me: “Haaken…what food did you draw on your plate?”
Haaken: “A dinosaur…no I mean a beaver…for supper and a dolphin for dessert.”
Me: “Yum?”
Kevin: “Ms. Derouin…Jack has something to say to you.”
Jack: “I am sorry. I will never do it again.” (Holds out a tiny stolen colored pencil.)
Me: “Oh well thank you for apologizing Jack. I bet some other students would be really sad if they didn’t have that purple colored pencil to use.”
Jack: “I thought it was blue. I took it because blue is my favorite color.”
Me: (Turned around to smile and laugh inside.)
Kevin: “Well it doesn’t matter what color it is…you still can’t steal from the art room.
Cruise: “Ahhh man…I accidentally drawed Chinese.”
Me: “You mean you accidentally drew Chinese letters instead of trees?”
Cruise: “Ugh…yeah.”
I’m not sure if this should make me laugh or cringe, but it’s pretty damn funny either way…
From The Onion: “I’m Not One of Those ‘Love Thy Neighbor’ Christians”
Favorite line: “I believe in the basic teachings of the Bible and the church. [...] Things everybody can agree on, like the miracle of glossolalia that occurred during Pentecost, when the Apostles were visited by the Holy Spirit, who took the form of cloven tongues of fire hovering just above their heads. You know, basic common sense stuff. But that doesn’t mean I think people should, like, forgive the sins of those who trespass against them or anything weird like that.”
Foo Fighters guitar-riffs + 80s/Smoosh female vocals + ridiculous theme song = oddly nostalgic throwback!
Listen to the Canadians featuring Cherielynn Westrich covering the theme song to the Neverending Story: http://www.buffetlibredjs.net/canadians.mp3
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