Archive for December, 2008

Mike was the new kid in fourth grade.

Posted in North Dakotans who can't stay away, international men of mystery on December 4, 2008 by cosmano

so this is the third grade test probe for next week.  i read it and laughed out loud because, let’s be honest, if nick and mike had met in elementary school this is exactly how it would have happened.

Mike was the new kid in fourth grade. He moved from Maine and didn’t know any of his classmates. No one spoke to him or knew his name. Mike came home the first day of school in tears.

“Don’t cry,” Mike’s mother told him. “Just show those boys and girls that you’re a nice and interesting person. Why don’t you bring your marble collection to class tomorrow?”

“Maybe the teacher won’t let me have marbles,” Mike sighed to his mother. “Besides, the kids will probably think marbles are stupid. I’m positive I won’t have any friends this year.”

The next day, Mike brought his marbles to school. He carried them in a leather pouch tied to his hip. As Mike walked, the marbles made a cool clicking sound that made him feel very happy. At recess, a student who had never spoken to Mike before tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey, man,” he said. “My name’s Nick. What’s inside that bag you’ve got tied to your hip?”

“My marbles,” Mike answered happily. “Would you like to play a game, Nick?”

“I don’t know how to play marbles,” Nick told Mike. “I think my grandpa used to play marbles when he was a little boy though. Who taught you how to play?”

“My grandma,” Mike said with a smile. “She was a marble champion in grade school.”

“If she taught you, you must be really good,” said Nick.

“I’m okay,” Mike said. “I still need a lot of practice, though. If you like, I can teach you, and then we can practice together.”

“That sounds fun,” said Nick. “Can I ask some of my friends to join us?”

“Sure,” said Mike. “I have lots of marbles.”

just picture ten-year-old mike with a bag of marbles strapped to his hip.  and ten-year-old nick being impressed by that.

Random JAPANESE Kid Quotes

Posted in general bood on December 2, 2008 by reesemeese

Jill, you inspired me.  Here are some random things I’ve picked up since I got here.

 

On a worksheet using “I like…” sentences

       “I like dogs”
         “I like sushi and sashimi”
         ”You are nothing, adoration man”

A girl in my Junior High, in broken, giggling English

       “Are you trying to pick me up?”

A question in the middle of class at an elementary school

       Girl:  “Do you have a girlfriend?”
         Me (lying for no reason):  “Uhh…yes.”
         Girl:  Bursts into tears

Bombardment of questions after “I like…” lesson in third grade

       Student 1:  “Do you like ass?”
         Me:  “What?”
        
Student 1:  “Do you like ass?”
         Student 2:  “Yes, Mr. Reese.  Do you like ass?”
         Me:  “Sorry, I don’t understand.”
         Teacher:  “Do you like ass, Mr. Reese? Do you like ass?”
         Me (beginning to hyperventilate):  “Uhh…”
         Teacher:  “Like, the worldAss.  Do you like ass?”
         Me:  “Oh, Earth, you mean Earth.  Yes, I do like the Earth.”

The old ladies in my English conversation class

         Woman 1:  “My husband, he is teacher.  He works at special school.”
         Other women:  Agreeing noises
         Woman 1:  “He works at school for the dumb.”
         Me:  “The dumb…”
         Woman 1:  “Yes.  The dumb and the retards.”
         Other women:  Agreeing noises.
         Woman 1:  “The dumb and the blind and the retards.”
         Me:  “Oh, okay.”

Almost every elementary school child every day that I am here, translated from Japanese

         “You have boobs.”